hot pockets

So I just barely had a hot pocket for lunch....

As I was frantically trying to cool down the freakishly hot bite that I had in my mouth and my burning fingers holding the rest of it, I could only think of two things...

"HOLY THAT'S FREAKING HOT!" and "Jim Gaffigan was right"...

"Is your hot pocket cold in the middle?"
"It's frozen...but it can be served boiling lava hot."
"Will it burn my mouth?"
"It will destroy your mouth. Everything will taste like rubber for a month."

Story of my life.


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