you've got mail

Dear couple that lives upstairs,

Although we don't always love to hear your every footstep as you walk around your place, Chris and I sometimes have a good chuckle...

Like that time that I was doing my makeup in the bathroom and I heard you walk right above me (into your own bathroom), open the toilet seat, take care of "bidness", flush, and walk away. What ever happened to the washing of the hands?

Or that time that Chris distinctly heard you fart cut the cheese VERY loudly...ya, I know you thought you were alone, sorry. Don't be alarmed if you hear hysterical laughing coming from downstairs the next time this happens...we are only laughing with you!

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Dear drummer in the neighborhood,

Normally people would be upset with your loud drumming filling up the entire street, but I think it is awesome. You are actually pretty good and I would much rather listen to you drum for an hour than listen to someone taking a dump upstairs.

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Dear apartment that we live in,

I promise that I will get around to decorating you. I have some really awesome ideas, but can you blame me? This big task feels a little daunting sometimes!

I am committed to making you look cute though...so have no fear!

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xo
lauren

update...

Dear Me,
You did a stellar job at putting on sunscreen...on your front only. It's not your fault that you can't reach your back...that is a difficult task, I understand. But, how about we remember to bring someone who can put sunscreen on your back for next time, mmmkay? Awesome.
Love, your half burned to a crisp self.

you've got mail...edition 1

Dear Brutus,
I am so glad you decided to end the hunger strike and finally start eating the food I give you...I was getting ready to plan a funeral for you. I also enjoy watching you swim around and be active now that you have food in your belly. You are a new fishy...keep it up.
Love, your mama.

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Dear Miguel The Yoga Teacher,
You kicked my ace last night. I can barely move today...why do you have to throw such crazy poses in my direction and then sit and watch while we try to contort our bodies like yours? I am sorry that I look so awkward when trying your stalls...and that I fall on my butt. Please don't laugh at my foolishness.
Love, the spaztic girl from your yoga class

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Dear Toe Nail Polish,
I am seriously digging this color right now. Thank you for making my tootsies look awesomespice and tan.

Please don't chip too soon, or else I will have to steal you from my cousin Sarah.

Love, the awesome girl who picked you out

ps. you look better in person...just sayin'

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Dear Tree Cutter Man,

No I am not the owner of this house, and no that 10 year old boy is not my son. I do not look old enough to own such things...who do you think you are? Will I tell my parents to hire you so you can give my tree a hair cut? Ummmm...I think you should ask the tree first, but I guess I will ask the parentals for you because I am that awesome.

Love, the girl who is not offended even though you made such haneous accusations.

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Dear Me,

I am so excited you are taking me to the pool again today. Let's go get our tan on! Also, thank you for having no work on Fridays...you are so smart.

Love, Me.