hot pockets

So I just barely had a hot pocket for lunch....

As I was frantically trying to cool down the freakishly hot bite that I had in my mouth and my burning fingers holding the rest of it, I could only think of two things...

"HOLY THAT'S FREAKING HOT!" and "Jim Gaffigan was right"...

"Is your hot pocket cold in the middle?"

"It's frozen...but it can be served boiling lava hot."

"Will it burn my mouth?"

"It will destroy your mouth. Everything will taste like rubber for a month."

Story of my life.

xo

lauren

note to self

It is ok to eat eggs after the "sell-by" date...as long as they are not green. (according to our nurse practitioner friend)

It is not ok to try to get rid of those eggs by making enough scrambled eggs to feed 6 people when you are the only one who is going to be eating them.

I don't think I can eat scrambled eggs again for a while...

xo
lauren

dear self...

It was a really bad idea to take this summer off by being lazy when we knew we had signed up for three dance classes in the fall. Now we can barely walk because every single muscle (some we didn't even know existed) in our body are rebelling against us. We better start stretching everyday again because we feel like an old crippled woman. Let's think ahead next time...mmmkay? As Christopher Brown would say...prior proper planning prevents piss poor performance!

xo
lauren

ps. our ballroom class is freaking awesome though!

update...

Dear Me,
You did a stellar job at putting on sunscreen...on your front only. It's not your fault that you can't reach your back...that is a difficult task, I understand. But, how about we remember to bring someone who can put sunscreen on your back for next time, mmmkay? Awesome.
Love, your half burned to a crisp self.