that awkward moment when...

Oh man, don't you love that awkward moment when you are dancing in your car at a stoplight, look over to the car next to you, and see that the person has been watching and laughing at you the whole time?

It only gets more awkward when you immediately stop dancing and stare straight ahead, refusing to look back over, as you shamefully wait another 2 minutes for the dang light to turn green.

Wait, you mean that has never happened to you?

Oh. Yeah. Me neither.

xo
lauren

so...i took a vacay

Wow, ummm pretty sure time flies and sometimes I forget about my little bloggity-blog over here. I apologize.

Well, folks, I am back. Maybe I just needed a little time away.

Anyway, here's a little video that I seriously love...can't get over it.

bahahahahahahaha oh man, she is seriously the cutest thing I have ever seen.

Love you all!

xo

lauren

peefection

**Disclaimer: this post contains personal information that may make some feel uncomfortable. Translation: this post talks about pee, infections, and lady parts.**

Well hello there my friends! I know it has been a whole month since I last posted...what can I say? Life is like that sometimes. But, instead of writing something boring (which never happens anyway, right?) I thought I would give you a little post to make you feel bad for me and, therefore, make you send nice things to me in the mail. Ha, I think I am so funny.

Anywho, let's get to the point here, people.

This morning I was stalking reading one of my all-time favorite blogs and stumbled upon this little post...please read

Now, for those of you who didn't read...basically she talks about her "peefection" aka "UTI" aka (for those who are fortunate enough to not know what this is) "urinary tract infection"...look it up.

So...as I was reading this post all I could think was..."No way! Yesterday morning I woke up to 'Zing! I have to pee something fierce!'" and a few mintues later had the "fire pee" experience...not to mention the ITCHING!! AH!

Yes, my friends, I got the peefection as well. Suck.

But, have no fear for I am being medicated and will be in tip-top shape in no time.

xo

lauren

ps. My youngest brother asked me if I was sick and I told him I just had a small infection...later that day he wouldn't let me have a sip of his drink. I asked him why to which he replied, "I don't want to get your infection." HAHAHAHAHA...oh right...THAT'S how I got infected. I forgot.

just too cute for words

Oh my goodness, people. I was going through my camera to delete unwanted pictures and I found some gems...

These pictures are from Christmas and I can't believe I forgot to put them up!

Look at the awesome presents I purchased for my mother's dogs...I am so thoughtful!

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Aren't those the GREATEST?! Oh man I just die laughing every time I look at these...priceless.

Hope you got a chuckle out of our fashionable pups...now join the club and get one for your dog!

xo

lauren

ophiucus say what?

Major debate going on people. If you haven't heard...there is talk of a new Zodiac sign. (gasp!)

The new sign, Ophiucus, is apparently said to fall between November 30th and December 17th and therefore pushes the dates of all other Zodiac signs around. (double gasp!)

The world has gone crazy about their beloved Zodiac tatoos (bad idea in the first place) and that the sign with which they have identifed themselves for their whole lives has suddenly been switched!

You're saying I am no longer enthusiastic, lucky, positive, or well liked?! I am now flamboyant, a good architect, and a seeker of wisdom?! GAH! Who am I?!

But...

This just in, people...

According to CNN...as of January 13, 2011 at 10:11 pm...

"No, your Zodiac sign hasn't changed."

(phew) That is a relief.
Thank you CNN for solving my identity crisis. Now I will go back to being enthusiastic, lucky. positive, and well liked.

xo
lauren

ps. here's the proof people... http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011/01/13/no-your-zodiac-sign-hasnt-changed/?hpt=C2

sometimes i scare myself...

Ok, so two nights ago I went to bed wearing these fuzzy socks...


Cozy and cute right? Not what I'm trying to get at though...

I woke up after a good night's rest and realized that I wasn't wearing my socks anymore. Now, this is not a rare occasion...that happens to me a lot so I didn't really think that much of it, right? I just figured they were at the bottom of my sheets or something. So I went to go find them stuck somewhere in my bed and...they were nowhere to be found. Seriously...nowhere. Not in my bed, not on the floor, not under the bed, not under the pillow, not stuck between the bed and the wall....NO. WHERE. I couldn't not find them if my life had depended on it.

Well I was late for school so just brushed it off as kinda weird and went on my way.

Then last night I went to bed and had totally forgotten about the socks. Again, another good night's rest and I woke up this morning to get ready for school. And guess what??

The socks appeared...right there...laying exactly like this...


ps. if you can't tell, they are on the edge of my bed right next to the pillow I was laying on.

Umm...how did they get there? I have no idea. They were not there the day before when I had searched high and low for them. So...either they are magic socks that can walk on their own and thought they would play a funny trick on me, OR, I am a freakishly crazy psycho person when I sleep and subconsciously decided to hide them from my conscious self just to find them and lay them out the next night in order to really freak myself out.

Neither options sound very solid, but I'm pretty sure it is probably the second one...so it is official...

I am a freakishly crazy psycho person when I sleep...you better watch out for me.

xo
lauren

jazzercise

Can I just say that Jazzercise is so ghetto, so bizarre, and so ridiculously cheesy...

...pretty sure I absolutely love it. Don't judge.

I'm tempted to start doing this for real...

Plus, I already have the outfit...

Pure awesomeness.

xo

lauren

intruder

Ok, so I know that this has been everywhere and that you probably have already seen it, but I still have to share it.

This would be an awful thing to experience and I am in no way dismissing the fact that she was probably scared to death, but whoever made this next video was freaking genius!

The reason I had to share this with you was becuase if you didn't know about the story and the song then this next picture would not make any sense...

BEST HALLOWEEN COSTUME EVER!

xo
lauren

hot pockets

So I just barely had a hot pocket for lunch....

As I was frantically trying to cool down the freakishly hot bite that I had in my mouth and my burning fingers holding the rest of it, I could only think of two things...

"HOLY THAT'S FREAKING HOT!" and "Jim Gaffigan was right"...

"Is your hot pocket cold in the middle?"

"It's frozen...but it can be served boiling lava hot."

"Will it burn my mouth?"

"It will destroy your mouth. Everything will taste like rubber for a month."

Story of my life.

xo

lauren

a little funny for you

This is awesome...just sayin'.

Starring my dad, brothers, and Christopher.

Please enjoy...

http://sendables.jibjab.com/view/bipmulxIzKh7chyY

xo

lauren

rude awakening

You know that in between state when you are sleeping, but still somewhat conscious and aware of things? I was laying in my bed this morning and was asleep, but aware enough to realize that the inside of my nose itched really bad.

You know how when you are sleeping you don't realize how sudden or intense your movements are? So I'm laying there and go to itch my nose because it was driving me crazy, right?

You know the feeling of a runny nose when stuff feels like it is just falling out of your nose? So I itched, felt a slight pinch/pain, and then the flood.

Pretty sure I gave MYSELF  a bloody nose.

Seriously?

So then I had to get up out of my nice slumber and take care of it...ridiculous.

Caution: drowsy itching may result in bloody noses.

xo
lauren

the one you have all been waiting for...

So...remember how I had that awesome story for all of you? I have decided that I better tell you finally...

Last weekend (on the day of the big move) Lauren was packing up all her things when her dad came into the room asking what the future held for her little fishy, Brutus.

"I'm taking him with me," Lauren replied.
"How are you going to do that?" Dad asked.
"Uhh...with the vase between my legs?"

Lauren's dad laughed at her foolishness and told her that for the drive to her new home, it would be wise to empty out some of the water and securely place him in a box. So, Lauren went to the bathroom to do as her dad had suggested.

Now, Brutus is a fish with a mind of his own. He likes to make things difficult for Lauren when she tries to take care of him. Brutus likes to swim down and wedge himself between the rocks despite the danger he faces of being crushed. He also likes to swim upstream when the water is being poured out of his vase until he is laying flat on his side in the smallest amount of water possible despite the danger he faces of suffocation and immobility in the open air. Because of this, Lauren was not surprised when Brutus swam down to the very bottom of the tank while she was emptying out his water.

But...on this specific occasion...a small rock slipped from its spot and clanged against the glass, terrifying Brutus! Brutus swam as fast as he could away from the rocks and JUMPED RIGHT OUT OF THE VASE DOWN THE SINK DRAIN!!

"BRUTUS!!" Lauren screamed in fear.

She stood there shocked at the tragedy she had just witnessed and called to her dad holding back tears at the loss of her fishy friend. Lauren's dad gave a slight chuckle when he saw Lauren's traumatic situation and told her to quickly step aside.

Like a knight in shining armor, Lauren's dad went to action quickly unscrewing the pipes under the sink. Lauren was instructed to plug the drain and fill the sink with clean water as her dad dumped out the dingy muck sitting in the pipe. And then Lauren beheld a marvelous sight! BRUTUS WAS ALIVE and swimming frantically in the dirt! She quickly scooped him up and placed him back in his home. Lauren thanked her dad for being so awesome and saving her little fishy.

Brutus was a lucky fish to survive and probably the only one of his kind to live and tell his tale of the journey down the dark sink drain.

The End.

xo
lauren

just a little funny

When I posted about the family reunion I hadn't loaded any pictures onto my computer, but I thought this one was pretty awesome and deserved to be put up anyway...

Here is Uncle Doug on a horse on a business call in the middle of nowhere on a mountain.

The Modern Cowboy.

xo

lauren

you've got mail...edition 1

Dear Brutus,
I am so glad you decided to end the hunger strike and finally start eating the food I give you...I was getting ready to plan a funeral for you. I also enjoy watching you swim around and be active now that you have food in your belly. You are a new fishy...keep it up.
Love, your mama.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Miguel The Yoga Teacher,
You kicked my ace last night. I can barely move today...why do you have to throw such crazy poses in my direction and then sit and watch while we try to contort our bodies like yours? I am sorry that I look so awkward when trying your stalls...and that I fall on my butt. Please don't laugh at my foolishness.
Love, the spaztic girl from your yoga class

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Toe Nail Polish,
I am seriously digging this color right now. Thank you for making my tootsies look awesomespice and tan.

Please don't chip too soon, or else I will have to steal you from my cousin Sarah.

Love, the awesome girl who picked you out

ps. you look better in person...just sayin'

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Tree Cutter Man,

No I am not the owner of this house, and no that 10 year old boy is not my son. I do not look old enough to own such things...who do you think you are? Will I tell my parents to hire you so you can give my tree a hair cut? Ummmm...I think you should ask the tree first, but I guess I will ask the parentals for you because I am that awesome.

Love, the girl who is not offended even though you made such haneous accusations.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Me,

I am so excited you are taking me to the pool again today. Let's go get our tan on! Also, thank you for having no work on Fridays...you are so smart.

Love, Me.

brutus

Well, what do you know?

Fish really do like hammocks...

Awesome.

xo

lauren

feeling a little dizzy

I purchased these pairs of shoes a little while ago, but I have finally decided that they are too cute to keep a secret from all of you...plus they were each ten bucks which makes them even cuter!

Cute right?! Gotta love a good deal!

One other thing that I forgot to share with you...

Last Wednesday (the day of Michael Buble), I had to get my blood taken for proof of immunization crap. Most people who know me know that I HATE NEEDLES...I despise them. I am super afraid of them and still to this day I have to fight off tears when I have to go get a shot. Getting my blood taken is not something that I am even remotely ok with...even talking about needles right now is making my heart race.

While sitting in the stupid chair at the stupid clinic with a stupid needle in my arm I started to feel nauseous. I could feel that my body temperature was rising, my palms were sweating, and my heart was racing. I really thought I was going to be sick. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes while breathing deeply to fight off the intense nausea...and that was it. 

You know that feeling of utter confusion when you first wake up in the morning and all that is running through your head is "WHERE AM I?!" That feeling of panic when you can't remember anything? You have no idea what is going on? These were the exact thoughts going through my head at this moment in time.

 Then a familiar voice broke through my confusion saying, "Lauren? Oh good, the color is coming back into your face! Uh-huh, there you go."

Yes, people, it is true...I fainted. And it was awful.

The sheer embarrassment of this situation is enough to make even some of the most confident people want to crawl into a hole and never come out. I hope no one else has to experience such humiliation.

xo

lauren

ps. I will never donate blood.

i am a popcicle.

You know those times when you are so cold that no amount of clothing or blankets will warm you up? That is how I'm feeling right now...freezing. For some reason I just can't seem to get warm today...

On another completely random note...

You know when you see someone else trip or fall and how unbelievably awesome that is? I don't smile or chuckle to myself out of spite...I'm just glad to know that I'm not the only clumsy person in this world. Sometimes it's nice to feel reassured that there are other people out there just like me :)

Speaking of falling...one more awesomely random note...

You know when you went to a park as a little kid and you'd go down the slide? The ride was always awesome, but the landing was always a little sketchy...getting off of a slide is one of the most awkward things you will ever do. There are two options when getting off a slide...either you will get lucky and just slide off gracefully...OR...you will fall on your butt, your back, or your face. The second option is what seems to be the most common ending of my sliding adventures.

This is for all those who have had (not so) graceful landings when dealing with slides...

**definitely funnier without the music...so turn your speakers down, or off**

xo

lauren

drum roll please...

Introducing...the new haircut!

I finally did it...I chopped off all my hair!

For some of you, this is old news, but for others...this is the big reveal!

Hope you like it!

And here's a little funny for everybody...

Starring: Milo and Mac doing the "doggie [air] paddle"

**No animals were injured in the making of these films**

xo

lauren

night owl

It is after 1:00 am and what am I doing? Reading my life if average? Why yes, how did you know?

This has been my favorite one of the week...enjoy!

"Today, my mom set her facebook status as: 'going to see my oldest daughter, WTF' My other sister and I are debating whether or not to tell her that WTF doesn't mean With The Family. MLIA"

xo
lauren

laughter is the best medicine

I would like to dedicate this post to my friend Caitlin who introduced me to www.mylifeisaverage.com ...this website is full of stories written by your average person, and the stories are hilarious. Caitlin told me about this website on monday so I decided to check it out...well I can now say that I have never spent so much time doing absolutely nothing but laughing my head off. I would like to share with you some of my favortie stories so far...

"A couple of days ago, my new step father (whom I haven't had the chance to get to know) was sent out to get groceries. What does he come back with? A Venus Fly Trap. We spent the rest of the afternoon hunting down flies while singing the Jaws theme song and feeding them to the Venus Fly Trap. I fully approve of my mother's decision to marry him. MLIA"

"Last night, I had a dream me and my dog got in a fight, and beat the heck out of each other. Today, I got a fortune cookie, with the fortune: 'Your strange dream will soon come true.' I've been hiding from my dog for the last couple hours. MLIA"

"Today, I bought a Roomba vacuum cleaner that vacuums while you're gone, because I wanted to save time. I spent an hour following it around the house, completely entertained. I feel this has been a great purchase. MLIA."

"The other day I realized I could change my cursor to a blue dinosaur that walks. Today I realized that moving it backwards makes it moonwalk. I've been entertaining myself for the past half hour by making it moonwalk to Michael Jackson. MLIA"

I hope you enjoyed them as much as I did! Thank you Caitlin for introducing me to greatness!

xo
lauren